More than words – The Voice of There

By Rick_Slick

Dear Bluenose,

My friends both say I'm a know-it-all. I always thought this was a compliment, but then one of them told me it means I only THINK I know it all. I'm confused. Since you seem to REALLY know it all, I thought you could help me. Please?

Thoughtfully,

R0nin

Dear R0nin,

Well, clearly since you had to ask me for clarification on this situation, you don't know it all. Therefore, if you don't know it all, then you must only think you know it all. But don't worry... that's not necessarily a bad thing, unless you're Mackie and you don't know how to host events, or something of that sort. RavenTresses calls me a "geniouse" all the time, but in reality I really don't know a whole lot of things. Sometimes, I have to pretend to know what I'm talking about... but that should be totally evident in everything I write.

For instance, one of the things you don't appear to know is that you need to get new friends. I like to make friends with people who are smarter than I am so I never have to worry about them calling me a know-it-all. I find this also increases my options when selecting friends. It also helps to be awesome like I am. Good luck finding smarter friends and whatnot!

Awesomely,

Rick_Slick

Dear Bluenose,

I like helping noobies, but besides them saying "therebucks?" even before they say "hi" or something, I feel like there must be a better way to help them. Nowadays, the basic members, well, ya can't give stuff or even buy a cute (basic member) noobie a drink anymore -- whats the world (There) coming to?

Sincerely,

Anon Reader (no, not a non-reader)

Dear Anon Reader,

Before I answer your question, RavenTresses wants to know if you just let the ugly newbies go thirsty or what? She's a bit annoyed with your discriminatory drink distribution practices.

One of the big problems when you are a newbie -- aside from the fact that you don't know how to do anything in the game -- is that you don't start out with any money or things and you can't teleport anywhere, so it's hard to get places. That's why I find it extremely helpful, in my opinion, to hit newbies with buggies so they can more quickly get to wherever it is they need to go.

Another way to help newbies without spoiling them by giving them things is to talk smack about them in voicechat with other people while they can't hear you. That way, their feelings won't be hurt the way they would if you talked smack about them in a chat bubble where they could easily read what you were saying. However... a word of caution: As RavenTresses has found out the hard way sixteen or seventeen times, just because they're all dressed like a newbie doesn't mean you shouldn't check to make sure they don't have a speaker icon on their nametag before you open your trash-talkin' mouth.

In Awesomeness,

Rick_Slick

If you have a question of some sort and it's not interesting enough for a real advice columnist to publish and answer, please feel free to e-mail Rick_Slick at rick@therevoice.com. The Voice will not be held liable for any negative consequences rendered as a result of actually heeding Rick's advice, to include illness, theft, destruction of property, flooding, arrest, loss of reproductive organs, rioting, or certain types of rashes.