On Fatties and Their Follies 
 
by zafferon

These days on Duda and Zona, one is bound to run across at least several groups of people just hanging out and surrounding a person who holds a position of revered importance, the group DJ. Avatars were probably given voice with the intent of making life easier for those of us who are too lazy to type, but some resourceful Thereians believe in taking it all a step further, and hence, the Fatty Revolution was born. What is this phenom I talk about? Well, it started not so long ago, somewhere near the end of last year's October or November. A few avatars would bloat themselves up and play music on the beach, which, most of the time, was undeniably better than the jukeboxes situated there. Kooky avies dressed in bizarre costumes, running around the beach like lost chickens and playing music as they weave in and out of groups of people and getting scores of iggies are a common sight too. However, beware of these hacks. The true maestros of DJing are the fatties that we now see in plentiful multitude haunting our beloved Zona and Duda. But beware fellow Therians, for even among these are the imposters that need to be weeded out.

A true fatty DJ possesses a) a nose of Herculean proportions b) no clothes whatsoever to speak of, unless you count the heart pattered undies that they believe constitutes their There freedom of expression, and, c) a ceaseless variety of Giggle commands that makes you wonder if you missed out on any grand releases during the time you were out for some milk or getting some shut-eye.

Enough about their sterling qualities though, we must now focus on the one asset that makes them truly shine out, for they may possess a posterior and front that can easily carry a breakfast tray without jiggling anything on it, but their superb music playing talent makes us grin and bear with all their Follies. One talking to a seasoned Therian, I learned that there was once a time when people would be horrified at the idea of "mutating" their avies by making them grossly obese and giving them features that even Sci-fi writers would be envious of, but these days, I ask you reader, just try it, go up to any person you might see hanging out with what looks like a fun group and ask them if they would like to show you their Fatty personas, and 9 times out of 20 that person will transform in front of your eyes from a sexy beach mama or a hottie beach bum to something that landed plop in front of you from Dr. Suess's warped reality.

Dang! Why can't we have one of those total hotties play some soul-melting tune for us? What quirky twist of fate dropped all those Fatties in our laps and left us dependent on their music?!?! Tis grossly unfair, indeedy do it is. And as is the case in such scenarios, all we can do is chin up and smile and put forward our best dance Giggles to amaze and awe.  Another noted feature of all the Fatties roaming our beloved beaches is the fact that they are renowned flirts. Throw a wink
their way and you'll find yourself smothered in hearts and kisses and flowers till the only thing you're aware of is the trinkling sounds in your ears. And since the stereotype taboo has been broken, there are almost as many female Fatties as there are male ones, and the females take a certain pride in showing off their prize assets (in more ways than one!) Therefore, if you ever fancy an encounter with these Therians, make sure you are staunch enough to see it through, or be prepared to festoon a wall from a remote hut in Zona like a sticker for having had the audacity to mess with powers beyond your reckoning. And now, having said all that can be said without incurring the wrath of these noble beings that make our World a truly unique one, I bid our readers adieu, and Long Live the Fatty Revolution!