Got a question? Something eatin’ at yer scurvy heart? Got a hitch in yer giddyup? Send yer silly, yer serious or just plain stupid questions and we will send a response lickety split! Email: Julia@therevoice.com responses will be posted in the There Voice.

 

Dear Pirate,

 

I have the flu, any suggestions for treatment?

 

Sickly

 

Dear Sickly,

 

I just had the flu myself.  Kinda snuck up on me like a neck breather at the local tavern jukebox.  I was going about my daily routine not bothering anyone when my throat felt a bit of a tickle. I ignored it as one should when telling yer self; in no way am I gettin’ sick. I woke up honking like a mallard duck. My head felt like some one filled it with oatmeal, my body ached like Sam the Sumo Wrestler had a go at me, and my stomach, good grief it felt like I swallowed a mini volcano! As you know everyone has a remedy for the flu. In my opinion there’s only one cure; whining. Hope you feel better soon.

 

Dear Pirate,

 

What is the meaning of life?

 

Intellectual

 

Dear Intellectual,

 

I believe you’re the eager young intellectual who is out to battle the demons of smug fuzzy-headedness here on There, I met on Zona one evening.  The question you so rudely presented with no opinion from yourself was; “What is the meaning of life?”  I thought a bit on it and after consulting Darwin’s game plan, Ann Rand’s egotistical details, a family member who is a philosophy teacher, and a personal friend whom is a Priest residing in Vatican City, Rome.  I suppose I would word it this way. First, it wouldn’t be the meaning of life if it were unassailable. The only unassailable arguments these days are materialism and pure philosophical agnosticism.  If you are dealing with someone who believes that the material world exists, you can win every argument by having the position that all that exists are the atoms and the molecules bouncing randomly around and that there is no moral or philosophical principle that can be proven to be true.  Life is completely pointless on a philosophical level.  If you have someone who is cleverer than I, and knows how to argue that the material world may not exist, then there are no scientific principals that can be proven to exist either. You have sunken into solipsism. <view: “I am the only mind that exists.”> Which can’t be proven either, leaving you with no provable statement whatsoever.  To the young intellectual: Go elsewhere, there are plenty of non-existent people who will play that game with you for arguments sake, so jolly good luck, if there is such a thing.