Oh my, I am still
getting acclimated to There. Ten months is a very long time to
stay away. Time may have stood still for me while I was busy pricking my
fingers with those loose strands of wicker but There has been evolving
at a most pleasing and consistent rate.
There is so much to see and do that my head
is still spinning (I do so look possessed at times). It is getting
easier and easier to catch up thanks to The Voice and its staff
of phenomenal reporters. I was thrilled to read NigelBlackthorne’s
article that There has made a permanent place for ThereOrleans. I
was most disappointed that I had missed this glorious recreation of the
magnificent Quartier Latin by master builder Yoshitoshi during my
incarceration.
Okay, I really do have to nitpick! I have
one real problem with its present placement. Putting the buildings in a
bay off IVillage makes the city square look as if it had been
inundated by the Mississippi (well, truth be told, that is not
unlikely). Actually, for May Day celebrations one could always pretend
the buildings to be a recreation of Leningrad! Oh damn! There ain’t no
Red May Day nor Leningrad anymore! Well, we can still have a May Pole
and romp about imagining us to be in St. Petersburg!
I told ZachC how thrilled I was with
the pictures I saw of ThereOrleans and he offered to take me there to
see it in all its glory. So off we went in the good company of Geea and
NigelBlackthorne to bask in Yoshitoshi’s glorious creation. And glorious
it is! My tour was made even that much more special as the architect of
beautiful Jackson Square, New Orleans, was on hand as our
surprise tour guide. The detail of the buildings and park is
breathtaking. The recreation of the Upper and Lower Pontalba
Apartments is brilliant. I want to move in right now!
I was simply stunned by the Cathedral of St. Louis. Talk about a
religious experience!
Time and monetary constraints limited all the
detail that Yoshi was able to lavish on this creation. Except for the
apartments, most of the Square is merely a stage front. Sadly, I could
not go inside the Cathedral and I so wanted to see it in all its
spiritual glory. But stage set or not, ThereOrleans remains one of our
most impressive, astounding achievements.
Okay, stage set? Hmmm! Well, you should have
heard me the other night. All I kept thinking of was Anne Rice and I
started nagging some of our prominent moviemakers (who were present and,
yes, boy, can I nag) that a gothic vampire tale was ripe for the telling
in Jackson Square. With Zach’s inspiration we even came up with a name:
The Vampire LeZach! Now how about that?
The good news is that the Square will
eventually be moved to dry land. Hooray! Hopefully, it will remain
waterlogged until my column is published as my nitpicking would have
been all for naught (so like my sessions with the good doctor,
Anastasia Beaverhausen). Oh and great Gods of Nene, would you
remember to have the Cathedral face the water (as in real life) so I
could start nagging for someone to design an old fashioned Mississippi
paddle wheeler to have moored in front of the Square??????
(Psst, wait till you see the tree house
designed by Yoshitoshi. It is simply [well simple is not the best choice
of word] HUGE! It is like living amongst the Sequoia)
Now for some more special news! I have heard
it said, on very good authority, mind you, that There is in the process
of collecting the buildings that once made up the incredible Old West
town of Hula Gulch. Hey guys if you need more structures just
give me a holler. I have quite a few of them as The Wild, Wild West
was one of my last labors of love for There before collapsing, exhausted
and spent and checking into Betty Ford Tiki for an extending stay
(but you already know that story!). Just promise me one thing! Please do
not place Hula Gulch floating in some lagoon. The Gulch belongs in the
desert. It has to be dry, dusty and dehydrated. Parched, I am parched; I
need water!
I have a request for the Gods of Nene:
how about making a permanent home for one of the great wonders of There,
namely Meret’s recreation of the Statue of Liberty? We
could always lie and tell the Goddess Nada that it is a statue
dedicated to her (she is that dumb, ya know).
Actually,
ThereOrleans, the Statue of Liberty and Hula Gulch are indicative of the
great pride that the all-omnipotent gods of Nene and the citizens of
There take in the magnificent themed creations of our wonderfully
talented designers. There have been many inspired festivals that have
lit up There evenings in the past three years. One of my favorites
fiestas is looming large on the horizon. Once a year the gay population
of There joins forces and produces an astounding salute to Gay Pride
that only serves to heighten the unified pride, both gay and straight,
we all have for There.
'PRIDE_2005'
