GREETINGS FROM ABROAD
(Diary of a Mad Hatter)

Okay smarty, that’s abroad not a broad! If Anastasia Beaverhausen were writing this column then the title might have been spelled differently. Happily, I can still get my There fix in absentia thanks to the global reach of The Voice. I spend many a lolling morning basking in the Tuscan sun catching up on all the news that I am sadly missing unfurl in person.

Day 1

I was especially happy to see Archie’s in depth column extolling the virtues of ThereOrleans and its creator Yoshitoshi. Reading Hatch’s Avatar and Driver makes me so buggy that I can’t think straight (oh geez, when did I ever think straight?). While I may not be the safest driver (don’t stand too near to a buggy when I am behind the wheel…Just ask ZachC…or anyone else, for that matter) at least I love the four-wheeled monsters so much that I have a pressing need to house them all.

Now I know how truly intolerable life was at Betty Ford Tiki (ah, but you already know that story…okay, more!). We were not allowed any news of the outside world. Our only pleasure was from the nightly Tequila run (thank you Meret) and listening the belching noises of the Gods of Nene sitting high atop the great volcano and digesting their devotional meals of vestal virgins (yeah, maybe there would have been less indigestion had they taken digestive precautions before immolating the latest “virginal” find. Are there really any virgins left?)  All I can say (okay, that’s a lie!) is without having the morning edition of The Voice life is truly unfathomable and intellectually barren.

Today’s the 5^th of July and I can feel the ground vibrating, even at this great distance (no it’s not Nene and it’s definitely not electronic stimulators…I knew I couldn’t say vibrators here…!). I can feel those Harley’s revving like mad!  It’s Pride 2005 and by now the grand festivities have begun. I do so want to be there. Hopefully, I will be able to teleport to There, even briefly, later when my companions have gone to bed (they just don’t understand my There passion, wouldn’t you just know?). If not, I am sure tomorrow’s Voice will enlighten me on what transpired and what I wish I hadn’t missed.

Day 2

Well, family and friends got the better of me and my chances to sneak back, ever so briefly, to the Archipelago were doomed from the get go. It is just disconcerting being abroad (now, that’s overseas, get it?). At least I got my There fix this afternoon as my trusty Voice was waiting for me freshly delivered and crisp with news.

I loved Whitney_J’s Cat Walk report. Right now, in all this humid heat I will take all the “bare” facts I can find. Kudos to CarCus! That western hat probably saved him from a bad burn.

I was sad and relieved that the avatar explosion had occurred and been promptly resolved by the great Gods of Nene. Truth be told, it is rather a good thing that my poor heavily weighted avatar is far, far away from the warm waters of Caldera. I can just imagine how maddening it would have been had I actually been able to tear myself away from my group for a fast visit to There only to find my possessions to be in a state of MIA (and you just have to know that my avatar would have been one of the most effected by the volcanic mishap. I could just see myself leaving family and vacation home and checking myself into Betty Ford Tiki yet again. At least I managed to buy a whole lot of Gucci, Prada and Ferragamo shoes for the insatiable Dr.Anastasia Beaverhausen [No mean feat, mind you!]. If not, I would never be allowed past the front gates and shown to my very special reserved suite).

I hope everyone is enjoying the Pride celebrations after having an incredible 4^th of July holiday. For now I am going to sign off and get on with the Tuscan day. I still plan somehow to be there to participate in some way with the Pride festivities. Until then, enjoy the fun and I will keep myself posted by reading my precious Voice.

Geea, look, still no pictures!

MAY THE PAZ BE WITH YOU!