Simply Awesome,
Rick_Slick

Dear Lonely Dude,

Many people often admire me for many things, including having an awesome girlfriend like RavenTresses. Unfortunately, keeping a girlfriend as pretty as she is takes lots of gifts, money, and attention. I normally have to buy her three or four things a day to keep her interest, as well as remind her how pretty she is. Driving a buggy with her is difficult, because she continuously demands that I focus my attention on her instead of less important things like where I am going and if I am about to run over anyone. This may seem like too much, but let me assure you that this is all easily overlooked because she is pretty.

In order to get a hot girlfriend like RavenTresses for yourself like I did, you will have to attach a sparkly, shiny piece of jewelry to some fishing line and throw it out into Karuna Plaza. Once you easily attract the attention of your target with the jewelry -- she will literally stop in the middle of any conversation she is having once she notices something sparkly and expensive-looking in her peripheral vision -- you should reel in the fishing line so she follows it back to your house where you have pre-staged large bundles of cash and presents to make her interested in you. The less awesome you are, the more money this may require. The rest involves a steady flow of Therebux out of your account and accepting the fact that you will never be able to talk about anything other than her again.

With Awesome Sincerity,
Rick_Slick