AWESOME APRIL FOOLS IDEAS

by Rick_Slick

 

 

I wasn't able to successfully convince Geea that I forgot how to write articles, so here I am once again to help the Voice of There celebrate April Fools because apparently I am some sort of fool, so I am the first person they think of on this holiday.  This year, I thought I would come up with a bunch of really awesome April Fool prank ideas so that the rest of you can all scamper around like a bunch of kids all hopped up on sugar and prank each other, even though I just listed them all right here so everyone will be completely ready for them.  So on second thought, all you will be able to do after reading this will be pranking blind people and illiterate people, which can be just as fun!  Keep in mind that these tricks should only be performed by professional griefers, such as RavenTresses, and in no way should you try these at home.

THE OL' SIGN ON THE BACK GAG

This is a simple prank that involves you writing a note with some sort of adhesive backing, and then walking up to your target and randomly, but naturally, patting them on the back to affix the note.  The note can be anything from a declaration such as "I'm a dork!" or "I heart Second Life!", to instructions to others on what to do to your pranking target, like the time-honored "Kick me!" or the sign that RavenTresses likes to put on her own back, "Give me presents!"  Watch the fun as your victim gets all confused and offended as various people insult them and/or kick them in the behind all day.  You can even put several such signs on the person's back to give other people an entire list of things to do!

THE OL' GUESS WHO DIED GAG

This is a stupid prank that RavenTresses invented to cause me distress as I was forced to think about everyone that we mutually knew, wondering who was most likely to have died.  Guessing games can be fun, but you never want to have to guess about who had something horrible happen to them -- you just want to know right away.  The best way to execute this prank, if you have no soul, is to start the day by calling up your victim and telling them to guess who died.  Let them try several guesses, and then tell them you've gotta go and you'll tell them later.  Then never call them back.  Warning:  This prank will make your target want to punch you right in the mouth.

THE OL' SMEAR A TACO ALL OVER THEIR WINDSHIELD GAG

This is how I got RavenTresses back for the previous prank.  All you have to do in this one is to take a nice, juicy taco, open it up, and smear it all over their windshield.  The mixture of meaty grease, cheese, hot sauce, and sour cream will be impossible to clear off with mere windshield wipers.  If you want, just leave the open-faced tortilla right over the driver's side windshield.  As an added bonus, this usually attracts a bunch of birds, who then have gastrointestinal problems all over their car.  After I did this to RavenTresses, she went out and bought an entirely new car instead of trying to clean up the mess.  It was awesome... hahaha!!

THE OL' PRANK PHONE CALL GAG

Many nights when RavenTresses and I were bored, we would sit around by the phone and call random people.  In a child-like voice, she would exclaim "I poo'd my pants and I dunno what to do!"  Very concerned citizens would actually attempt to explain what to do, which made it even funnier.  This prank has been virtually ruined by Caller ID, so you should be sure to dial the secret code that blocks Caller ID before you call someone up.  Or, if you have spare change and like to live life on the edge, you could find a pay phone in some dark alley somewhere in the ghetto and make prank phone calls all night.  Other fun ideas include leaving an answering machine message with a female friend whose husband has undergone the sterilization process that you're from the doctor's office and the pregnancy test has come back positive, as well as calling up someone and telling them to guess who died.  Or just call ahead and tell RavenTresses' hairdresser that she wants a mullet.

THE OL' STRING SOME BROKEN GLASS TOGETHER AND TELL RAVENTRESSES ITS A DIAMOND NECKLACE GAG

If there's one thing RavenTresses likes, it's shiny, sparkly, expensive things.  If there's one thing I like, it's spending far less money by creating an imitation item out of common household items and then passing it off to her like its the real thing!  This is an idea I wish I had used when RavenTresses was talking on her brand new iPhone next to the water and throwing sticks into it for the dog to fetch, and then somehow managed to whip her phone out to sea, leaving her standing there talking to a stick.  [CENSORED]!!!  For this gag, I just smashed a bunch of glass bottles, strung them together with some fishing line, and told her it was a diamond necklace.  Since I have never actually bought her a diamond necklace, she can't tell the difference!  And when she shows it off to her friends, they just nod and say "Wow, that's pretty!" just out of sympathy for her.

THE OL' CHOCOLATE CAKE IN THE TOILET GAG

If you start piling up chocolate cake into a toilet, you can pretty much guess what it looks like.  I mean, besides a load of chocolate cake piled up into a toilet.  Watch in amusement as your roommate or parents or whoever you can con into helping out with the clogged toilet pinch their nose and throw up in their mouths a little as soon as they see such a horrible, yet completely faked, product of your gastrointestinal system gone terribly wrong!  Francis_7 pulled this trick on me, and instead of cleaning it or attempting to remove the clog, I just boarded up and plastered over the entire bathroom and built an addition to my house for a new bathroom to start anew.

THE OL' WAKE SOMEONE UP WITH AN AIR HORN GAG

I caught Elaur sleeping once on the set of a Miracle Pictures movie, so we all thought it would be a great prank to sneak up next to her and fire off an air horn to wake her up.  And when I say "we all thought", I really mean just me.  Be careful before attempting this prank -- you should probably wear a helmet of some sort or a hockey facemask.  As soon as I sounded the air horn, Elaur woke up and punched me directly in the face out as an involuntary reflex.  After I got my own teeth surgically removed from my stomach at the hospital, and my jaw was no longer wired shut, I thought back on this awesome gag and laughed hysterically!

THE OL' FAKE FORTUNE COOKIE GAG

One day I was bored and decided to try to print my own awesome fortune cookie fortunes and replace the original fortunes with the custom ones.  After breaking 76,234 fortune cookies trying to do this, I discovered that heating them up in the microwave for about 15 seconds made them pliable enough to stretch apart and replace the small piece of paper inside before hardening back up into their original shape.  Then, of course, we went to hand them out to everyone on our Buddy Lists, but they were entirely blank because everyone is sick of RavenTresses and I griefing them.  So we had to settle for handing out these doctored fortune cookies out to the newbies at the Welcome Walkway:

"You have no friends."

"You will never get anyone to give you any free things!"

"You will never star as the newbie in a Miracle Pictures movie!"

"No helpers want to help you."

"You are in fact not welcome, despite the name of this walkway."

"You better hope that's a pile of chocolate cake in your bathroom."

THE OL' DRESS IN A TOGA AND PRETEND TO BE A RELIGIOUS ICON AND TELL NEWBIES TO REPENT GAG

This one is pretty offensive to people who worship things and so forth, but it is hilarious to guilt newbies into repenting for their sins by dressing in a toga, sandals, long hair, and a beard, and set forth across the land spreading the good word and whatnot to newbies who need saving.  It makes me feel good inside, even though it is totally blasphemous and I got really sick after I spent an entire night running around the Welcome Walkway playing this gag.  RavenTresses said I got sick because I was being smited down or things of that nature, but I am pretty sure it's because she tried to make chili out of dog food and I ate the whole bowl of it.  That's a whole different prank in itself.  Anyway, in retrospect, I'm not sure the Welcome Walkway is the best place to do this.  Everyone in There knows all the sinners are in Zephyr.

THE OL' FAKE WINNING LOTTERY TICKET GAG

You can buy these at gag stores or probably off the Internet at www.howtoloseafriend.com or something like that... you give one to a friend as a gift instead of the rash you gave them last year as a gift, and then they scratch it off and find out they won like a billion dollars or so.  Then they get all excited that they just became filthy rich, and the buy all sorts of expensive stuff and go into work and tell their boss to go stuff themselves, and tell off all their co-workers.  Then they come home and tell their spouses, "Hey, I just won like a billion dollars!  Pack your bags!" and their spouse is all like "Yay, what should I pack for?  A round-the-world cruise?  The Bahamas?  A European trip?" and then your friend is like "I don't care, just pack your bags and get out!"  Then after all that happens, you point out the fine print on the back of the lotto ticket that states it's completely fake, and then laugh awkwardly and go "April Fools!"  Make sure your family takes a nice, hefty life insurance policy out on you before you attempt this prank.

THE OL' PHONING IT IN TO GEEA WITH CRAPPY ARTICLES GAG

Rick_Slick: u there?
Geea: hi
Rick_Slick: how r u on censoring these days?
Geea: i'm pretty open i don't give a crap
Rick_Slick: whew ok
Geea: except for f word
Geea: c word
Rick_Slick: so my article consisting solely of that word copied 500 times would not fly?
Geea: pretty much
Rick_Slick: well now i have to start all over

Disclaimer: The Voice of There does not condone pranking blind or illiterate people, asking people to guess who died, smearing any sort of Mexican food all over someone's windshield, walking around like a religious icon in There, letting someone wear sharp, broken glass all around their neck, or pretty much anything in this article.