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More than words – The Voice of There |
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More than words – The Voice of There |
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I decided to give Rick his own column since he does have a unique way of expressing himself. Also it saves me the time of putting disclaimers on each and every article he does. ;) So for some comic relief, we present to you The Blue Nose Files
PAST RAMBLINGS
An Awesome Group
Exclusive
Report on The State of There Address
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CONFESSIONS OF A THERE EMPLOYEE by Rick_Slick
On Friday, May 6th, Alex_Community, Community Manager for Forterra Systems/There, had her last rolly-chair race against Vash down the hallway (and due to an accidental opening of a door at the last second, down the stairwell) as she said goodbye to her co-workers and to the user community she had developed into a family over the years. Rick_Slick had the honor and privilege of suckering her into a parting interview.. If you've spent longer than it takes to find your first veteran avatar and beg them for clothes or Therebux in There, then you know who Alex_Community is and what she's done for us during her service as a Community Manager for There. On April 29th, she sent shockwaves through her network of friends in-game by posting in the News & Events section of the Official Forums that she would be leaving There to pursue another exciting opportunity. She's just completed her final week at There, and I was fortunate enough to trick her with the ol' "Does this smell like chloroform?" line and drag her back to the Devil Playmates' Headquarters to conduct one last interview with her before she moved on...
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: brb Alex_Community: -- I met several people who worked at the company. From that point on, it was on my radar of products to watch. I signed up for the beta and was accepted very early on. I loved the whole idea of There and thought it was a great direction for a massively-multiplayer product. I sent in my resume and was hired a few months later. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Sorry, back. You were saying? Alex_Community: I *said*, back in 2002 I met several people who worked at the company. From that point on, it was on my radar of products to watch. I signed up for the beta and was accepted very early on. I loved the whole idea of There and thought it was a great direction for a massively-multiplayer product. I sent in my resume and was hired a few months later. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Okay, so you worked on a radar and you got hired a few months after you met some people. That's very intriguing! Describe for us a day in the life of Alex_Community at work. Alex_Community: Well, I roll in at about noon. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Haha, sounds like about when I roll into the office at There Voice. What time do you really have to be there? Eight in the morning like me? Alex_Community: I have to be there at noon. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Oh. Alex_Community: Anyway, I check to see if any members have sent me any e-mail that I can ignore. Around 12:30, I go to lunch. When I get back at 3, I make sure that Vash has completed all the work I piled on him. I tell him that 3 monkeys at a typewriter could do better work than he does. While he's redoing everything, I go take a nap in the break room. Then I sort through my CDs to figure out what to listen to on the way home. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: OMG! Your job rules!! Say, what kind of cookies are your favorite? Alex_Community: Snickerdoodle, why? Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Well, Alex, you see, that's important stuff. My readers want to know things like what sort of cookies you eat and whatnot. If you were the Greatest Interviewer Ever like me, you'd know things like that. So, like, what did you find rewarding about your role at There? Alex_Community: This is a very close-knit community, rather than a really large, impersonal MMORPG. I enjoyed the opportunity to interact closely with individual members of the community, and to really get to know them. Also, just on a work level, my bosses were very supportive about giving me a chance to do new things and grow professionally. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: I wish my boss were like that -- she just tells me what to do and censors all my articles. Why don't you tell us a little bit about where you're headed next and what's in store for you there? Alex_Community: I plan to reunite with Darth Vader so that we can rule the galaxy as father and daughter. We are quite the villainous pair. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Oh, that's so interesting! It's almost like coming full circle... when you last left him, you were probably but the learner. Let me guess... now you're the master? Alex_Community: Most impressive. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Stop... you're creeping me out! Who's your favorite supervillain of all time? Alex_Community: Lex Luthor! In fact, my favorite thing to yell at Vash when he's slacking off is "Mush, Miss Teschmacher! Mush!" Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: I dunno, he's probably into that kinky sort of role-reversal thing. If you could create your own massively-multiplayer game or virtual world, what would it be like? Alex_Community: I would create a world where you could live as a super villain! Oh wait...
Alex_Community: ... Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: ''what Alex_Community: That's Pong, you goober. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Oh. Well, not to change the subject and redirect the conversation away from my blatant stupidity... um... isn't RavenTresses pretty? Alex_Community: RavenTresses is a pretty little party princess! Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Tell us who your avatar secretly lusts after in There? Alex_Community: RavenTresses, of course! RavenTresses, Who is Very Pretty: rawr! :) Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Hey now!! 'sad ... Do you have any dirt on Vash_Community that the rest of us can use? Alex_Community: He has a doll that looks just like him, and he dresses it up in different outfits. Then they have tea parties with Ania's monkey. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Hehe, that's cute. I made a doll out of RavenTresses' hair and I snuggle with it all the time... is it anything like that? Alex_Community: Yes, except with far less underlying psychological issues. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Who is your role model in There and why? Alex_Community: Well, Rick_Slick, for obvious reasons! Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Sweet! That's just what I had figured! Aren't I awesome? Alex_Community: You're awesomer than the awesomest person I know! (And that's pretty awesome!) Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Well, enough about me, let's go back to talking about you. RavenTresses, Who is Very Pretty: Me? Me?? Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: No, honey, the person I'm interviewing. RavenTresses, Who is Very Pretty: 'sad Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Describe how the staff felt after the "Black Friday" announcement... what was the mood and what was being said? Alex_Community: We felt like we had been kicked in the stomach. All of our friends were gone and our numbers were decimated. The office was eerily quiet. We didn't know how - or if - we'd survive. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: I'll bet you were all shakin' harder than a dog poopin' peach pits! Where would you like to see There and its community a year from now? What sorts of features/objects would we have to play with if you had your way?Alex_Community: I hope that a year from now, the There community is much larger. It's a great world and a great service... I want everyone to know about it. On the design front, I'd like to see a complete redesign of There Central to make it more powerful and more meaningful, a complete overhaul of the auctions, and a lot more in the way of social networking features. My list is actually quite long, but these are just a few things off the top of my head. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: I'd really like to see dice. Alex_Community: We HAVE dice. You wrote an article about it even.
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
Haha, oh yeah. How are you related to Vash_Community,
having the same last name and all? Alex_Community: ...yeah?
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
That was awesome!
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
Leaving There, you're no longer under the threat of imminent alien
invasion. What advice do you have for the rest of us on how to protect
ourselves against an intergalactic attack?
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: If
your There life were a song, what song would you choose and why?
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
That's good advice for any walk of life, I'll bet. Especially for
diplomants, I would think. *sniff* *sniff* Say, do you smell porkchops?
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
Not sure what you're going to do with a pink Native American, but oooookay....
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
Are they going to name anything in There after you? Like Alex_Communityland
or something?
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
Are you going to miss me?
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: So, Alex_Community, what will it be like for you to move so far away and start a whole new job? Any anxiety or fears? Dice: ...5 Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: That's completely understandable. Have you given any thought to what might happen if the new job doesn't pan out? Dice: ...2 After two quick, harmless answers from the dice, Alex_Community didn't want to be remembered in the end by the community as spewing out random numbers, so she agreed to sit back down and continue the interview with me. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: How much would it cost me to get a picture of you and RavenTresses smooching? Alex_Community: Those pictures have great sentimental value to me and aren't for sale. RavenTresses, Who is Very Pretty: hehe
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
Hehehe, that's hawt!! As much as I'd like to explore that topic further,
unfortunately I have a few more interview questions to ask. What's your
favorite There vehicle type and why?
Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever:
What differences are there between the way you are in real life and the way
your avatar behaves? Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Um, honey, you told me the L on the forehead stood for "love"? RavenTresses, Who is Very Pretty: Oh, it does when I do it, sweetie. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Oh, okay! Hey, does that Sonblock feller know he spelled "sun" wrong in his name? Alex_Community: Probably not... that guy is a few cards short of a full deck! Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: What has been the best practical joke or gag played on someone at the There office? Alex_Community: Baloo and the infamous [Vash] emote. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: According to bathroom stalls at the There offices, who should we call for a good time, and why? Alex_Community: PixelVixen... she's feisty! Meow! Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Who would win in a battle, and why? Captain Kirk or Captain Picard? Alex_Community: Captain Picard, you idiot! Kirk is dead. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: When you play There during your personal time, what activities would we find you doing the most? Alex_Community: Stalking Meret or Droopy. They are my secret boyfriends, you know. Rick_Slick, the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Well haha, not anymore Ms. Smartypants... you just told that to my millions of readers! As Alex bolted out the door all horribly ashamed and embarrassed at revealing that last bit of information, RavenTresses and I went through her purse (we weren't trying to be nosey or anything, honest!) and found some of her favorite pictures. I thought I would do her a favor and share her most private, fondest memories with all y'all in the form of a slideshow set to music. The link can be found below if you would like to watch/listen. All kidding aside, best wishes to you on your new job, Alex! We'll all miss you very dearly and hope to see you in game to visit us very often so we can all play dice with you for hours and hours!!
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The Voice of There is not owned, operated or affiliated with There, Inc. All rights reserved. All graphics, logos, articles are the property of The Voice and it's staff. |
Rick_Slick,
the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Well, Alex_Community, I am
extremely excited to be able to interview you! I always find what you have
to say very engrossing and captivating. Please tell me a little bit about
how you came across There and how you got your current position?
Rick_Slick,
the Greatest Interviewer Ever: Really? I would create a world
where it's like this big empty black space, and there's this ball or puck of
some sort that bounces around in perpetual motion... and you could roleplay
as a large paddle, the lone defender, the last resort... the only one able
to prevent the puck from breaching your goal. I'm not sure if that has been
done before, but I think it has a lot of potential as a massively
multiplayer game.
Alex_Community:
Standing between Jack and Steve in the company picture. They aren't nearly
as pretty as I am.
At
this point in the interview, Alex_Community was getting all
uppity and mean to me, so I replaced her with the set of dice from the last
article. At least the dice never make fun of me or make snide remarks about
me, even if sometimes they don't really answer the question very thoroughly.