Our estranged blue-nosed reporter returns just in time to submit a marginally incoherent article chronicling his and RavenTresses’ favorite There memories in case anyone cares…

 

So imagine my surprise and disappointment when I found out There was getting rid of all of the hamsters that spun the wheels that powered the servers and would be closing down on March 9^th, 2010.  Even though I no longer spent as much time in There due to real-life pursuits, such as trying to figure out how my virtual life was ten times more awesome and interesting than my real life, I would be lying like RavenTresses in the middle of a bunch of my vehicles that had just mysteriously “disappeared” if I didn’t confess that I was a little bit sad to see everything go.  Just when I was totally going to return to my former glory and write a bunch of articles for the Voice, too, right Geea?!

I imagine that Michael Wilson sent out this notice over six months ago to give us all fair warning well in advance, but because he used ThereMail… well, you know how that goes.  While none of us are expected to agree with or like Michael’s decision to shut down There (I’m making the assumption it’s so that he can use the computer hardware and staff to run a World of Warcraft gold-farming operation), all we can do is respect it and understand that the people behind the scenes worked many hours -- except for probably Vash Community, who hid around in various offices to read comic books all day -- to try to create and maintain such a wonderful virtual world and community for us all to be a part of, however short-lived it may have been.

I spoke with RavenTresses the other night so that we could recall all of our fond There memories, which seems like the most appropriate thing to do at this point.  We logged into There for one last time…

RavenTresses:  I have a pending buddy request...who is that tard that didn't hear they were closing in like a few hours?
RavenTresses:  I've forgotten how damn good looking I am.
Rick Slick: Holy crap you're hot!
RavenTresses:  I know, right?

DISCOVERING THERE:  Because we hate work

So after we spent our first three minutes in There like we usually had done in the past, commenting on how pretty she is, RavenTresses and I explored how we both found There.  Basically, the virtual worlds we had been in prior to finding There were a lot of work and one of the fundamental things that I have in common with her is that we both hate work and doing things for other people:

Rick Slick: So when did you start There and how did you find it?
Rick Slick: You used to play The Sims Online, right?
RavenTresses: Yes, and then everyone started talking about There.
Rick Slick: Because it was better and whatnot.
RavenTresses: When I first came over it was like "a vacation" in comparison to TSO.
Rick Slick: I came over from Everquest.  I played that for like five years and I was a ranger, because I owned a Ford Ranger and watched the TV show “Walker, Texas Ranger”, so I figured that would be the best thing.  Plus, like in Guild Wars, rangers allowed me to be a sissy and stand far away from danger and just shoot arrows at things.
RavenTresses: Sooo... back to talking about me now.  TSO was a lot of skilling and "work"
Rick Slick:  Yeah, in Everquest all we did all day was kill stuff and try to get experience points, and sit around places where monsters spawned for hours at a time just to get interesting swords and trinkets and what-have-you.
RavenTresses: In There it was just a bunch of hanging out hoverboarding and nothing that you really "had" to do.  I remember hanging out at Hoverboard Park a lot.
RavenTresses: You know, me and all the other cool people.

HAVING FUN IN THERE:  Lets go steal some people’s stuff and then shoot them with paintballs

One of the more fun things to do in There was to grief people and generally make their lives a living hell, so we discussed that for a bit:

Rick Slick: I am pretty sure you fell in love with There when you first learned how to grief people.
RavenTresses: I stole boards and bikes even back then.
Rick Slick: LOL you were like "mine".
RavenTresses: I was pretty so no one said anything about it.
Rick Slick: "This is mine, that's mine, oh and this is mine."
RavenTresses:  Yes.  I loved There because it was full of presents.
Rick Slick: It was just a big virtual world where you could jack people's stuff.
RavenTresses: Actually my first day in and some guy gave me a bike.
Rick Slick: And you were instantly hooked.  "Ooooh... presents?"
RavenTresses: Pretty much.
Rick Slick: Remember when you met me and you took me along on your griefing adventures and I was all hesitant and trying not to piss people off?
RavenTresses: LOL omg yes!
RavenTresses: you were like… “umm that's not nice.”
 Rick Slick: After we flew past them in a hoverboat shooting paintballs at them, I would jump off to go apologize to them.
RavenTresses:  “They will get angry.”
RavenTresses:  “Should we be doing this?”
RavenTresses: lol
Rick Slick: LOL “IS THIS ALLOWED???”
RavenTresses: You didn't really get the concept of the Red Devils club.
RavenTresses: But then you figured it out.
RavenTresses: And started annoying the newbs with how awesome you are.
Rick Slick: Hahaha… that club hut you or RavenLynn used to own... where you could turn paintguns on in the club hut, but nowhere else near it were paintguns allowed.  I remember you two used to keep shooting at me and shooting at me while I was trying to get into the club hut.
Rick Slick: For eighteen hours straight.
RavenTresses: Yes, and that crap just never got old!
RavenTresses: Inviting ppl over to blast the crap out of them, watching your body flying around all misshapen and contorted.
RavenTresses: Good times.
Rick Slick: All broken and defeated, yet coming back for more.  And then we would go into random people's houses and skank up their beds by making out in them.
RavenTresses: hahaha yes!

FRIENDSHIPS IN THERE: RavenTresses = Paris Hilton???

We both met a bunch of friends in There… hopefully friends that we will be able to keep in touch with for many years to come.  Or some of you may have no friends, so hopefully this section will give you a feel for what having friends is like and so forth.  We both shared stories about some of the first people we met in There:

Rick Slick: So how did you meet RavenLynn?  From There or TSO?
RavenTresses: There.  She became friends with one of our mutual friends first I think.
RavenTresses: You were a hot commodity, all famous There movie star and so forth.
RavenTresses: That was back when you were with that girl who dumped you.
Rick Slick: ROFL
Rick Slick: And I was too sad to even go into There for the premiere of Broc Lee because I was basically ready to quit.
RavenTresses: Oh yeah… I remember you were all beat down emotionally and whatnot
Rick Slick: Yeah, so i stopped going into There and just hung out on There Universe or whatever it was called.
RavenTresses: I talked to you alone for the first time on a beach of some sort.
Rick Slick: Aww… you remember that?
RavenTresses: Had you heard of me before you  met me?
Rick Slick: Well, I think we were flirting back and forth on TU for a little bit first before we met in There
RavenTresses: Yes I remember, you were so cute and broken...and yet cool.
Rick Slick: So we talked on that beach and I was all broken and whatnot and you all picked me up and brushed me off.
RavenTresses: well you were all like I'm not ready for anything and I thought ahhahaha a challenge!
Rick Slick: And around that time, Francis_7 was like, "You write whatever movie you want and we'll make it." in an effort to keep me around
Rick Slick: And you were tugging at me too.  So I was like, okay... I'm going to write the most awesome and funny movie ever!
Rick Slick: And you had positioned yourself conveniently in my life to get the starring female lead
Rick Slick: So, congratulations on that.
RavenTresses: Yeah, funny how that worked.
Rick Slick: Yeeeeeeeaaaaahh.
RavenTresses: Between your movies and RavenLynn and her designs I was pretty much destined for fame.
RavenTresses: I don't do much but I'm the muse for all the really talented people.
Rick Slick: For no real reason other than right place, right time.  Sort of like There's version of Paris Hilton.
RavenTresses: lol

ACTIVITIES IN THERE:  How to keep RavenTresses occupied so she doesn’t jack your stuff

There provided us all with plenty of fun and interesting things to do, that is, when we weren’t busy griefing people and jacking all their stuff.  Here we reminisce on some of our favorite pastimes, aside from RavenTresses' stupid, horrible games she made up like "Guess Who Died", in which no one is ever really a winner:

Rick Slick: So what are your favorite memories in There?  I know you loved to build PAZes.
RavenTresses: Hmmm...
Rick Slick: You would spend HOURS doing that crap.
Rick Slick: And then when it was time to log off, you were all "Goodnight!" and you'd stay logged in for a few minutes to listen for what people said about you when they thought you were logged off.
RavenTresses: LOL!
Rick Slick: Remember flying over that dumpy griefer zone Zephyr in a hoverboat and "bombing" everyone with our dropped vehicles we were throwing over the side? hahah
RavenTresses: Taking advantage of the There glitches was fun...like ass sliding and getting stuck in walls!
RavenTresses: We did a lot of stuff...
RavenTresses: We threw a lot of parties.  There were always people to hang out with.  And if there weren't then we would go find them.
RavenTresses: And shoot them.
Rick Slick: Hahah remember all those Spades games where we would just crack everyone up with our comedy and antics?
RavenTresses: LOL  yeah we made fun where ever we went.  I don't remember it ever being boring.
Rick Slick: What about our obsession with the "Chicken Train" song?
RavenTresses: LMAO
Rick Slick: And no one could really quite remember the lyrics.

RavenTresses: My daughter even knows that song now.
Rick Slick: And I actually found an MP3 of the song.
Rick Slick: Then we made a chicken train PAZ shrine to the song with the train items from the Wild West theme and a bunch of chickens.
RavenTresses: LOL
Rick Slick: I think I still have the Valentine's day PAZ you made me, with the big Earth you could go inside.
RavenTresses: Awww yeah!  That was fun!
RavenTresses: You made me lots of cool PAZes.  And my chicken buggy.
RavenTresses: No, you made the raven mobile with the chickens on the tires.
Rick Slick: I think Neecie made the chicken buggy.
Rick Slick: I made you the Conceitmobile.
RavenTresses: Yeah, yeah
Rick Slick: That ran on rubberbands and AA batteries.
RavenTresses: The conceitmobile, lol!
Rick Slick: With a big picture of you on the front.
RavenTresses: Yeah that was my favorite part.
RavenTresses: You made the club All_About_RavenTresses.  Wow, our pics and descriptions are gone from our profiles.
Rick Slick: Basically, I was just there to boost your ego, really.

 

ESCAPE TO A VIRTUAL WORLD:  Because sometimes the real one sucks

I think that for a lot of us, There (or any virtual world, really) provided us with an escape from our normal, everyday lives.  We lived vicariously through our avatars… often being the person that we wanted to be in real life because we felt we could be free from judgment and shed our inhibitions.  I submit that the people we are through our avatars are more the “real” us than the pale, pathetic reflection of ourselves we present to other people in real life out of our various fears about what others might think of us or the consequences of acting as freely as we would like to act.  And then sometimes those friendships we created in There extended to the real world, through meeting our friends in real life or participating in Real Life Gatherings:

Rick Slick: I think you and I were logged in like every night, because our avatar's lives were so much more interesting than our own.
Rick Slick: I mean, hell, in There... I was a movie star, a famous journalist for the Voice, and had a super hot girlfriend.  Who wouldn't wanna log in to escape to that every night?
RavenTresses: And I was super pretty and had a cool boyfriend and got lots of presents ... oh wait.
Rick Slick: LOL um.... yeah, you already had that in real life.
RavenTresses: Oh yeah.
Rick Slick: So I am not entirely sure why you were in There.  For more presents I guess.
RavenTresses: So I could get lots of attention without having to do my makeup?
RavenTresses: Yeah and that.
Rick Slick: Um, no, you could do that in real life too...
RavenTresses: Awww!
RavenTresses: One of my favorite memories was acting in Mission Slightly Difficult.
Rick Slick: Yeah, I think you were the only one I had ever heard of that actually rehearsed her lines.
Rick Slick: Francis_7, Disky, and I weren't used to that level of commitment on a Miracle Pictures production… haha!
RavenTresses: I remember doing a really technically difficult scene… something about flying off a cliff.... and I kept screwing up the whole scene!
Rick Slick: Right, because in the end you had to fill in for Sloane_Maddoxe.
RavenTresses: Yeah, it’s not like I couldnt just read the script...
Rick Slick: And hoped no one would notice her British accent mysteriously went away.
RavenTresses: I loved the scene that was put in when I talked to all the farm animals!
Rick Slick: That was never actually in the movie, I just wanted to see if you'd do it.
RavenTresses: Yes it was!!
Rick Slick: hahaha
RavenTresses: …are you serious?
Rick Slick: I think it was deleted in the release and saved for the director's cut.
RavenTresses: You suck.
Rick Slick: hahahah
Rick Slick: My favorite RavenTresses cameo appearance of all time was in the end of that movie we did for the Film Fest, where we got you to come back into There and play the wife whose husband was killed during the war and you're all in typical RavenTresses form... "His stuff.... can I have it?"
RavenTresses: LMFAO
Rick Slick: haha like in Vegas where we were playing at that table and you kept running out of chips and I had a huge stack left and you'd turn to me all puppy-dog eyed and go "Can I have some money?" all pathetic-sounding.
Rick Slick: You even griefed in real life too... I have a picture of you spitting on people below from like the 8th floor of the Luxor, haha!!
RavenTresses: I guess we aren't far in real life from who we are in There...you know, if that stuff were socially acceptable.
RavenTresses: Or if you can run to your hotel room right quick and hide.
RavenTresses: Remember being in Vegas trying to hide from that creepy dude and you were like “Okay, when we come out everyone go to the right and then I’ll lead him away,  circle back around, and find you later!” and I was all wandering off to the left.
Rick Slick: LOL and I knew that's exactly what you did, because you did the same crap in There while filming MSD, so that's how we found you.  “No, Raven, your OTHER right.”  And you're all screaming at us to get into the limo just as that guy we were hiding from comes out.
Rick Slick: You and your friend are like bending over in my lap trying to hide and I'm like "Uh, the windows are tinted, retards."
RavenTresses: Oh, and remember the guy at the war table?
Rick Slick: We had just spent the last six months cracking each other up with those stupid Yackoff Smirnoff “In Soviet Russia…” jokes.  You know, because we’re easily amused like that.
RavenTresses: Then the dealer started talking to us with this thick Russian accent and we just looked at each other LOL
Rick Slick: We could NOT keep a straight face at that table after he opened his mouth, we had to leave.
RavenTresses:  In Soviet Russia, cards deal YOU!

 SO LONG AND THANKS FOR THE HUGS:  Took you guys long enough to add that, sheesh

As I start to wrap this up, I would like to say a final thank you to all of the people in There who made it such a special and wonderful place to visit and be a part of, and even to those newbies who would walk around begging for money and free things, and even all the troublemakers and drama queens – they certainly kept things interesting!  Thank you to the entire staff for working so hard to maintain the world and community for us to enjoy, and for bringing us new content and changes that made things more fun.  Thank you to all of my friends that I’ve met during my time in There – I would try to name them all but I would probably forget 85% of them and then they would get all mad at me – for being there when I needed to talk, and for laughing with/at me when I needed to make people laugh.  Thank you, Geea, for keeping The Voice of There running for so long and for giving me the opportunity to write for you.

While our avatars and digital inventories may never exist again as we know them, what's important is that all of the friends that we made and all of the things that we did in There will always be remembered.  I’d like to close with some parting thoughts about how we should reflect on our time in There and what we should take away from it:

Rick Slick: So this will be one of the last few days that Rick_Slick and RavenTresses will exist.
RavenTresses: You did a lot with There...you could have just hung out and chatted in Karuna but you didn't, you made movies, wrote for a paper, developed games...
RavenTresses: You had a chance to do a lot of things you may have otherwise not.
RavenTresses: You lived a great life in There and made it part of who you are outside of There.
Rick Slick: Anyway, There is important to me because I met my super special BFF of all time, you.
Rick Slick: And without any of this, I would probably still be all sorry for myself, not dating or anything because I would still be all psychologically messed up thinking that I am a horrible boyfriend and I am not cut out for dating or relationships.
Rick Slick: And i would never know what it would be like to write and star in a movie.
Rick Slick: And then I started to become awesome and more confident in real life.
RavenTresses: LOL
Rick Slick: So really, There was all just one big psychological therapy session for me.
RavenTresses: You were always awesome, you just didn't know it before.  You are very far from that lonely broken guy on the beach, all ready to pick up his toys and go home.
Rick Slick: You uncovered the awesome and kicked it out from the rock it was hiding under.  Probably because you were looking under the rock for presents or money.
RavenTresses: Yes, shiny things are under there.  Really, though, in all honesty I could not have gained more from There than I did from gaining my best friend.
Rick Slick: awwwwwwww
Rick Slick: Wait, I hope you mean me.
RavenTresses: I didn’t say that grammatically correct...but you know what I mean.
Rick Slick: I'll fix up your sentences in post-production.
RavenTresses: You have been the best friend I could ever have.
Rick Slick: I know, right?
RavenTresses: You've been there for me every step of the way...and we know I've managed to get myself in some pretty sucky situations.
Rick Slick: Well, I owe you so much.
Rick Slick: For picking me up and brushing me off
RavenTresses: It's me that owes you, in more ways than one.
Rick Slick: And for believing in me and for seeing me in a way I had never been seen before.
RavenTresses: I was always just the sidekick.  You were always the real star.  I'm just the girl you always take care of.
Rick Slick: You will always hold a special place in my heart, not only beyond the end of There, but beyond the end of time. And when they flip the switch on the servers, they can take away Rick_Slick and RavenTresses and all our stuff, but they can't take *that* away from us, and that's what's important.
RavenTresses: OMG they are taking our stuff?????

THE END =(

 

 

Disclaimer: The Voice of There actually condones everything Rick_Slick writes even though it's fact less and mostly heresay and fabricated from his own warped mind.   We love ya Rick :)