HOW TO CREATE AN
AWESOME GROUP IN THERE

by Rick_Slick

This week, Rick_Slick's article was very nearly an interview of some There celebrity's Labrador puppy that they accidentally left out after they logged.  Fortunately, we care too much to subject you to that inane drivel.  Instead, we will subject you to some of Rick's contingency drivel, a guide on how to make your There group successful -- proving once again that lack of experience or knowledge regarding a particular subject will never stop Rick from submitting an article. (This article is purely for fun and not to be used as a reference guide)

Hi everyone!  Geea hasn't kicked me out yet, so this week I bring you yet another article I worked very hard on for about 15 minutes while my There girlfriend, RavenTresses, was AFK to check out how hot she looked in the mirror.   This week, I'd like to draw on my experiences as a leader of several successful 2- or 3-person groups in There and share my thoughts and philosophies on how to create and maintain an awesome group that everyone will want to join.  Now, at first you might think "what the heck does Rick know about forming awesome groups in There?"   Well, you would be thinking incorrectly.  I really have nothing to substantiate that claim, but since everything you read on the Internet is 100% true, then this must be too.

1. Coming Up With a Winning Group.   The first step in creating an awesome group is to have some sort of idea, gimmick, or thing you want to base your group on.  The thought here is to lure in unsuspecting people that might also appreciate or enjoy whatever crud it is that you're trying to make a group about under the pretense that you actually care about that very same thing.  Even if they find out that you have no clue regarding whatever concept it is that you're building your awesome group around, if you throw some cool events and start up the publicity engine, they won't even know the difference!

Because everyone wants to be part of a popular group, right?  At least for me, it satisfies that gaping void in my life back in high school where I was a social outcast and beat up after school every day (sometimes before school, too) because I wasn't part of the in-crowd and wore velcro shoes and had a Rainbow Brite lunchbox and dolls or whatever else was wrong with me that people felt the need to exorcise from my body with their fists.  Read it and weep, high school bullies... now I write for a major newspaper and design clothing in a virtual world!  Who are the losers now?? Hahahaha!

Anyway, now I'm cool, so that's all part of my bitter past.  As an example of a group idea, I enjoy the TV show "24", so I decided to start a "24 Fan Club" group.  I have been watching this show attentively, every second of every episode, for the past three seasons.  The show is about some guy named Jack who has 24 hours to kill everyone who gets in his way, or something like that.  I don't really understand the details of what's going on all that much, but more importantly, after two weeks, I already have 3 members in the group including myself.  Yes, that's right... I've tripled the original membership in merely 14 days!

2. Inviting People to Join. After creating your group and putting some cool pictures on the group page and whatnot (I usually steal other people's images, because it's easier and people are flattered when you just yank their work without permission), you'll want to start inviting people to join.  Sometimes, if you're like me and you have a TON of friends that want to be around you ALL THE TIME, it's difficult to decide which of your friends would be interested in your group and would help contribute to it in a positive fashion.  Judging others is difficult, unless you're conceited, so I just invite all six of the people still on my buddy list except for the two that told me flat-out that if I invite them to "one more of my lame groups", they'll put me on ignore.

I would also encourage randomly running around Karuna and inviting every nametag you see.  If someone tries to use the excuse "Sorry, I can't join any more groups, Rick!", sometimes it is helpful to pull up their profile right quick and point out all the faults of current groups they may belong to in hopes that they quit that group to join yours.  Also, feel free to post about your brand spanking new group on all the forum boards you can find, There-related or not, and ask people to join up!  Remember:  The more obnoxious the forum post, the more attention you will receive.  These steps will help you form a good, solid core of members.  Be sure to give your members permission to invite other members, and then put the word out that if they don't get all their friends to join, they can't be in your cool group anymore.  This works well because some people need motivation in order to produce results.

3. Generate Publicity for Your Group.   Next, you need publicity.  The best way to generate publicity for your group is to make sure everyone is always talking about it.   Positive, negative, it doesn't matter.  Mention it every time you talk to someone new.  For example, feel free to use my conversation ice-breaker:

Kitteee: Hello.

Rick_Slick:  Hi, Kitteee... my name is Rick_Slick, the greatest group leader in There.  Founder of All_About_RavenTresses, Silent_Ambush, SAY_AGAIN_PLEASE, and my latest, most happening group of all, 24_Fan_Club!  Aren't I simply amazing?

Kitteee: Bite me.
 

4. Dealing With Rival Groups. Drama is just like finding out as a guest on the Jerry Springer Show that your wife is cheating on you with your mom... no one wants it to happen to them, but when its other people involved, you can't help but watch.  When other groups try to pick fights with you or your group members, make sure you stick up for your new group family.  Immediately go on "Do Not Disturb" so you can formulate a defense plan without being bothered by your whiny group members.

A neat trick I like to use is to build a PAZ over a cliff in Dune Valley, and invite the rival group to come have a paintball duel or a verbal sparring match with your group.  After they gather up on your PAZ, have your group members step back onto the ground and yank the PAZ out from under them.  Be sure to take screenshots of this and post them all over the forums to let them know that you mean business and that your group is clearly more awesome than theirs.  A slightly more ingenious response would be to slander their group by creating a new group with their name in it (i.e. PuppyDawgLovers_ARE_SILLY_HAHAHA ), which allows you the opportunity to start yet another awesome group! 

5.  Conflict Resolution.   Sooner or later, you're going to have some sort of conflict from within the group.  No one likes conflict, so just save yourself the trouble and kick the offending members out of the group.  If someone is arguing with you, why waste valuable group-building time trying to formulate a coherent argument and developing witty insults about them?  Just kick them out.  This will also serve the purpose of warning other group members that may have a grievance regarding you or another group member that it's probably just best to let things boil over inside over a long period of time until they snap.  After all, they joined your group, and you're the leader, so they should pretty much just listen to whatever you have to say and keep their  differing opinions to themselves.  If a large percentage of your group members disagree with you, take advantage of this and form an offshoot group regarding that opinion (i.e. We_Love_Spades_AND_NSYNC)

In summary, I'll leave you with a helpful list of DO's and DON'T's as a quick-reference:

DO have a winning idea around which to base your awesome group, whatever draws people in!

DON'T run over your group members' puppies with a buggy right in front of them.

DO hold as many events as possible: quantity is always more important than quality!

DON'T let anyone help you run your group... it's too difficult to deal with the agendas of others.

DO attempt to invite as many people to your new group as possible, regardless of their level of interest!

DON'T let your members question your ultimate authority... they are there to serve you!

DO post multiple times in any forum you can find about your new group and how awesome it is!

DON'T promise potential group members pics of your girlfriend if they join.

Now you're well on your way to becoming one of the most successful group leaders in There!  Good luck and best wishes to all y'all!   Remember, it's not the size that matters, it's how many people you have in your group!  Or something like that.

Disclaimer -  (This article was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek, and The Voice will not be responsible for any loss of friends or access privileges to There as a result of following any of Rick's moronic advice.)